Happiness

I think I'm going crazy. When the day began I felt normal. Like usual, I awoke to a feeling of total disgust at the world around me. Like usual, I dragged myself over to the coffee maker and sat at the window while it ground to work, complaining to no one in particular. Like usual, I grabbed my walker and tottered out the door, planning on grabbing my newspaper and making it back to my room as fast as possible. That's when something strange happened. As I exited my apartment, socks trotting along behind me, a little girl started to pet my kitten. If this was last week, hell even if it was yesterday, I would have groaned, scowled, told her to get lost, but instead I felt a twitch in my cheeks, forcing my lips into what I assure you was an involuntary smile. Startled, I struggled to get my muscles under control, freezing my face into its customary grimace, but not before the child had scampered off. I continued my trek to the mailroom, feeling unsettled. Then, as I left the elevator, it happened again. Socks pushed up against a woman's legs. "Oh aren't you a pretty one!" She cooed, and in response I said "Her name is Socks, I just got her." No shouting, no pushing, no trying to drive the woman away, I volunteered information! Me! I usually wouldn't tell anything to a dead fly on the windowsill but here I am, telling a woman that I don't know that my cat's name is Socks. It gets worse though, "That's a perfect name" the woman smiled, and I thanked her. It didn't stop there either, I was utterly 'pleasant' to everyone I passed. I nodded. I grumbled greetings and good mornings. I didn't raise my voice or lose my temper once. It wasn't until Socks and I got back to the apartment that I realized what I was doing. I had been nice. There's something wrong with me. I must have a virus or a fever. Maybe I was bitten by something. Maybe I just need to sleep. All I know is that whatever is happening to me, whatever has infested me, I can't stop it. All I can do is hope that it won't happen again.