A Tiger About Town

This cat has turned me into a criminal, although now that I'm thinking about it Stars probably shares some of the blame. Socks and Stars. They're probably in cahoots. When I set out this morning all I intended to find was something new to complain about for a change. Hell, if this had happened a month ago, I wouldn't have gone at all, I would've taken those tickets, slipped under my door with a note saying "And one for your cat - Jack Stars" and thrown them out the window to disintegrate in the rain, but I haven't been feeling myself lately, and so I decided to give the circus a try. At the beginning it all seemed to be going as expected: the crowds were annoying, the animals were smelly, the performers were bored, and don't even get me started on the managers. Overall, the whole thing looked big, noisy, and horribly inefficient. I almost left, but Socks started terrorizing this monkey, and then the monkey's handler started running after them, and the scene of Socks gleefully stalking her prey as the monkey screeched and the handler scolded was just too funny to stop. That's when we saw the tiger. I've always thought tigers were noble creatures. They're wild, solitary, superior hunters, the largest cat species in the world, and here one was, stuck in a cage. Socks abandoned the monkey. I stared in shock. Here was one of the most majestic beings on earth, born to roam wild and free, trapped behind steel bars, with barely enough room to pace back and forth. As I looked into its eyes a man walked up to me. "Scary isn't it?" the man laughed "took us forever to catch it. Don't worry about it getting out though, I've got the only key to the cage right here." Behind the man, Socks and the tiger looked at each other with the same sad expression, and I decided I had to do something. I fell over onto the man, and we tumbled to the ground. Almost immediately I started screeching "You tripped me!! You could've killed me you moron!! You'll pay for this! I'll sue!! GO GET YOUR MANAGER" Apologizing profusely, the man scrambled off, not noticing in his haste that I had grabbed the key to the tiger's cage. I guess I've finally got revenge on those parents that made me mad way back before I met Socks: I've set a tiger loose on the town.